Monday, April 19, 2010

So Long Insecurity, You've been a bad friend to us...

So I'm way behind on my reading.  The Beth Moore simulcast is THIS SATURDAY!  I'm only on chapter 4.  I wanted to copy a paragraph here of what jumped out at me today.  Keep in mind, Beth is addressing insecurity in women as a gender not necessarily as the typical stereotypical insecure person.  It is way more prevalent than that.  I can't think of anyone that I know (including myself) that doesn't have some level of insecurity.  It is time to be healed:

The self-conscious person may protect herself with plainness and try to blend into the paint, but she also may dress herself to perfection and stand squarely in the spotlight.  In either portrayal, or anything in between, she is ordinarily more aware of herself than she tends to be of any other person in the room.  Whether she feels inferior or superior, she takes a frequent inventory of her place in the space.  She may like it or hate it, but she's rarely oblivious to it.  Never think for a moment that pride and self-centeredness have no role in insecurity.  Since she keeps confusing her insecurity with humility, however, she never recongnizes the self-centeredness so she can turn from it.  (Moore, p. 22-23)

Ouch!  ...I think that's all I have to say...

Anyone want to go with me on Saturday?

Friday, April 16, 2010

The Top Ten Things...I treasure about my childhood

A lot of things come to mind as I'm re-entering the world of toys and cartoons with my son.  It brings back a lot of memories of my childhood.  So...the Top Ten Things...I treasure about my childhood:

10.  My BARBIE HOUSE!  There was a lady and her husband who worked at Jamie's Flea Market who made barbie houses, clothes, and furniture.  My parent's bought me a fully furnished house for Christmas one year.  Let me just say that I dont' think i have a single memory of playing that doesn't involve that house. is currently in my basement...and I think I might paint it. 

9.  My play house.  Remember when I said that my dad can fix anything?  Well, he can build anything too.  He built a play house for me and my brother.  The purpose was for us to share it...but I think I ended up being in it more.  It held my barbie house in the summer months, and it was the location for many sleepovers. 

8.  Our swimming pool.  My uncle gave us a yucky old swimming pool that came with his house.  It was one of the smaller versions.  I spent every warm day in the pool during the summer.  I would wake up, put on my bathing suit, and wear it all day only taking breaks pretty much to eat. 

7.  My neighbors.  We were so blessed to have good neighbors growing up.  You know who you are...My life would lack so much joy if it weren't for them.  I also don't think I have a single memory that doesn't involve my friends.  We played games like "guns" a fancy name for cops and robbers, basketball, hockey, 4-square, BARBIES, we swam a lot, and I remember having long talks about spiritual matters on our back deck. 

6.  Patches.  That was our dog.  We got her when I was pretty little.  I guess she was technically my brother's dog, but we all loved her.  We didn't really know much about having a dog.  She was just happy all of the time and got herself into a lot of interesting adventures.  Running away and showing up on Mothers Day pregnant and all banged up, chasing a cat into the road, pulling me on roller skates (not such a good idea), playing in the leaves and snow. 

5.  The ice cream truck.  Yes, a truck that delivers ice cream.  What could be better than that?  We didn't always get the privelege of buying the expensive treats...but every now and then we could.  i have a specific memory of chasing the truck for blocks for a $.25 twin pop.  The guy gave us a free one for our effort.  That was a great day.

4.  Saturday morning cartoons.  The only shows I remember watching were punky brewster (the cartoon), alvin and the chipmunks, looney tunes, chip N dale rescue rangers, darkwing duck, and winnie the pooh.  Those were good mornings.

3.  Bible club.  My parents led an amazing children's program at our little church.  It was so much fun and in the end, if you did all of your required work, you would win a free trip to Cedar Point.  I know it was a lot of work for them, but i know a TON of scripture because of that program.  And...a lot of good memories. 

2.  Sunday nights at grandmas.  After a busy Sunday, we would go to my grandparent's house for dinner and to watch america's funniest home videos.  That was always a great time.  I had a really hard time when I went to college and knew that they were getting together and i couldn't be there. 

1.  Family dinner time.  This is one of the most important things a family can do.  My mom worked really hard to have an amazing dinner that accomodated my dad's work schedule.  Sometimes it didn't work out like when he worked nights...but sometimes we ate dinner at 3pm so that we could do it as a family.  There is something about a mealtime with open discussion that really helps a kid feel safe. 

until next time...

Thursday, April 15, 2010

So many things on my mind...

So I've been cooped up and sick for days now...and today I opened the front door and just breathed the air...and felt better.  It is amazing how healing the sunshine and breeze can be.  (I think the little pill I took last night helped too).  The colors are just I grabbed my laptop, some of the amazing pasta that I made last night for dinner, a glass of tea, and the baby monitor and ran outside to soak up the spring-ness.  Then I see a litte robin hanging out in my little tree with white buds on it that look like snow.  Grabbed my camera and took some pics.  I'm loving my life. 

There's a robin in here...but I had a really hard time getting a good shot. Can you see her?

It is such a different life being a parent.  Have you seen the show "Parenthood"?  It is good.  It represents a lot of what I'm starting to feel.  Before Micah, I felt as if my husband and I had similar roles...obviously we have our God-given roles...but we shared everything...chores, dinner duty, paychecks, workdays.  I had my career, he had his, then we had do-what-ever-we-want time and it was great.  Now, I cannot separate my life from Micah.  He is factored into everything that I do...even my work.  I cannot work without thinking of who will provide childcare and making sure I have enough food packed for him.  My husband still proceeds with life as it was before.  Of course, I know that Micah has affected his life...but our roles are just different.  This isn't a bad thing.  I'm not complaining.  It is just a realization of something that I knew was coming.  And, let me emphasize...I love it.  It's just a different season.  The past few days have been tough beause baby boy was sick...and so was mommy...and daddy worked late so I wasn't too optimistic about it all.'s a new day

Also, for some reason I've had a Caedmon's Call song stuck in my head called "Ballad of San Francisco".  It's pretty catchy.  Love that band...too bad Derek Webb left. 

On a completly random note...I have to throw this in.  I'm copying off of a blog idea from my pal Meagan on this one.  I LOVE to cook...and I have to tell you about this amazing pasta that I made last night.  One of my favorite things about cooking is ... the internet.  Yeah, I've got the Betty Crocker and he Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook for the essentials...and I refer to them all of the time.  But, when I'm looking for somethiing is baby!  Also, I love as well.  Sometimes they are too complicated though...kraft is usually much easier.  Anyways, they send emails weekly with different recipe ideas and yesterday was 10 different pastas.  So LOVE can probably tell by looking at my hips...LOL.  This one was creamy chicken pasta...or something like that.  It technically was the "smart" version of the recipe...which is supposed to mean that it is healthy...but it was a whopping 11 points per only had a little bit.  I also changed it up a bit.  I'll work on making it a little healthier later but for now it is whole wheat pasta (I used rotini), diced tomatoes, oregano, basil, garlic, onions, green pepper, salt, pepper, neufachel (sp) cheese, and parmasean cheese.  You pretty much just mix it all together.  It was amazing.  My husband even said so.  Thanks  It was nice to eat something other than saltine crackers and oatmeal for a change.  Until tomorrow's Top 10 Things...bye!  

Saturday, April 10, 2010

The Top Ten Things...I love about my parents

I've been appreciating my parents a whole lot more than ever now that I am a parent.  I know that I am a new parent...but as I think ahead of the things to come in my journey, I want to recongize how wonderful my parents are and how much I love them.  So...the the top ten things I love about my parents:

10.  They sacrificed to make sure that I had all of the opportunites to turn out okay. 
9.  They have a really good work ethic.
8.  They taught me to love God, to glorify Him with my life, and to know how to recognize the Holy Spirit's work in my life.
7.  They babysit my son.
6.  They love God.
5.  They have a lot of experience with a lot of different things and I ask them for advice...a lot.
4.  My mom can cook, bake, or sew anything. 
3.  My dad can fix anything.
2.  They taught me the value of family.
1.  They love me and my family. 

Thursday, April 8, 2010


For those of you who know me well...You may have heard me say that credit cards are from the pit of hell. my opinion, they truly are.  In our culture, I think it is the closest and most common form of slavery that we can experience.  Funny...the Bible says so too...

Train up a child in the way he should go,
Even when he is old he will not depart from it.
The rich rules over the poor,
And the borrower becomes the lender's slave.
Proverbs 22:6-7
I was listening to a speaker today...whom will remain anonymous for now...and they mentioned this verse in the context of raising children with a healthy view of money.  They were also claiming that the way that you spend your money determines the kind of values you possess.  Interesting...
I've struggled with money...the spending of my life.  Somewhere along the road I learned that opening a credit card account was a rite of passage as an adult.  I was so excited to get my first Capital One Visa with a $200 limit!  (At the time, that was all that they would give me).  Unfortunatly, I was later rewarded with limit increases surpassing the thousands.  Our culture is truly screwed up.  Please don't hear me blaming anyone...I know that I made my own choices and have worked very hard to bring myself out of that pit that I got into.  This same person told a story of how they told their child to go down to the bank and apologize to them for bouncing their first check because it was a LIE.  How convicting!  We are training our children to lie, beg, borrow, and steal in order to live?!  No wonder there are so many anxiety disorders in the world!  When we are financially insecure...we harbor guilt, resentment, and...well...insecurity.  But we continue to fall deeper into that pit of slavery to our master...  We have lost the value of work...we preach about helping the poor but in turn enable them to sit on their butts and milk the welfare system.  Again...please don't read into that...obviously I believe in helping the poor...I'm just wondering if we need to redefine poor.  And while we're at it...maybe redefine help
So, I'm convicted.  I want to live my values in the way that I spend (and save) my money.  I'm on a journey of refinancing.  Thoughts?
P.S.  Coming soon to the finer days... "True Confessions of a Pastor's WifeBy putting it here...I will commit to doing it...but I want to pray through it...not that it will change the world...but that I think it needs to be said. 

Friday, April 2, 2010

The Top Ten Things...I love about Easter.

10. Days off work!  Today Dan went into work at his normal time.  10 minutes later he walks into the room...scares the crap out of me...and one was at church!  I think i have the day off!

9. Warm weather.  This is not a popular one for northeast Ohio.  I have many many memories of snowy easter egg hunts and having to wear winter coats over our new easter clothes...but this year we've got it! 

8. New clothes!  I haven't always gotten new clothes for easter, but I have lots of memories shopping with mom for an easter dress.  Last year, I was pregnant and remember feeling down because I couldn't find anything cute that fit me...but this a new dress...and a new outfit for Micah!

7. Easter egg hunts.  I still am not quite sure what eggs have to do with the resurrection...yeah I get the whole "new life" thing...but it seems silly to me. is a fun tradition.  Growing up, my grandparents always had us over on Saturday night before Easter Sunday to color easter eggs.  And, they always had like 14 dozen or something...seriously.  We always made 1st, 2nd, and 3rd prize eggs for the hunt...and it was some serious competition.  I remember one year accidentally stumbling across some of the prizes for the winners...a large container of bubbles!

6.  Easter baskets.  Mom and dad always got us easter baskets.  They always contained candy (sometimes homemade) and some kind of cool thing like earrings or socks...or a bunny.  The part that was the most fun was that they would hide the baskets somewhere in the house and we'd have to find them. 

5.  New blooms.  Again, this isn't always a given in northeast Ohio, but i do enjoy the new grass, flowers, and leaves that are starting to appear.  It is also a good time to see your neighbors again!  Everyone is out doing yardwork and cleaning up from the winter.

4.  Family time.  Easter provides the opportunity for our family to get together again.  I love it.  We don't even have to do anything...but we are together eating a lot of food and just hanging out.  This year it will be our first Easter with Micah...and I'm so excited to start new traditions with him. 

3.  Church services.  I know that Easter is the one day a year that many people go to church...for me it is exciting to feel the buzz of new people in the services.  It is also fun to watch all of the little kids in their uncomfortable outfits.  It is a special day...and I love it. 

2. Jesus.  I mean it's all about him right?  For me, Easter is a time when I get emotional about the cross.  It is a time to remember and to stand in awe of his sacrifice.  Even more, to think about the implications of the empty grave.  Without the resurrection...there is no reason to be a Christian.  I'm thankful for this time to be reminded of it all. 

1.  I ran out of HAPPY RESURRECTION DAY...and Happy Easter.