Still My God

These words spoke to me tonight.  This is a song by the group Avalon called Still My God.  

Up and down 
Like the tide is moving 
In and out 
We're in motion and the ocean pulls us under 
And even there You're found 
You never change 
So I will sing... 

If I'm standing on a mountain 
Or drowning in a sea 
If I am filled with hope 
Or crying out for mercy 
If I'm singing hallelujah 
Or scared to make a sound 
If I am learning how to walk 
Or when I'm falling down 
I'm saying You are still my god


In a world 
Where so much seems uncertain 
You remain hope for the strong and broken 
No matter where we are 
You are never far 
And nothing changes who You are 

If I'm standing on the mountain 
Or drowning in the sea 
If I am filled with hope 
Or crying out for mercy 
If I'm singing hallelujah 
Or scared to make a sound 
When I am learning how to walk 
Or when I'm falling down 
I'm saying You are still my god 
Jesus, you are still my god 

You were, you are, you will be forever 
You were, you are, yeah 
You were, you are, you will be forever God 

If I'm standing on the mountain 
Or drowning in the sea 
If I am filled with hope 
Or crying out for mercy 
If I'm singing hallelujah 
Or scared to make a sound 
When I am learning how to walk 
Or when I'm falling down 
I'm saying You are still my god 
Jesus, you are still my god 
Jesus, you are still my god 

still my god 
still my god

Girl's Night In For Freedom

Last night I hosted my first 'Girl's Night In For Freedom'. Whenever God lays something on my heart to do...it is interesting to watch things unfold leading up to the event. I've written a little about this before here and here. I can always count on the fact that the enemy will try to discourage and distract me. Yesterday was no different. It is always so encouraging to hear people's responses and watch as the news travels. I know that if anything good comes from one of our events that it is only by God's grace and his direction in people's lives. I love to hear people talking about anti-trafficking efforts. I tend to get a bit stressed (dreams, sleep trouble) prior to something like this. It doesn't bother me too much though because I kinda see it as God's way of telling me how he wants things done. It's kinda neat watching God orchestrate everything.

 The purpose of the night was to bring women together to hang out like girls and support anti-human trafficking efforts instead of spending our money on traditional girl's night events like dinner out and a movie. The entire night was centered around ways to recognize modern day slavery and to identify areas in our lives where we could substitute products that benefit abolitionist causes. Food was provided by Chipotle. This company focuses on providing food that is organic and make it their goal to purchase products that are slave free! Read about their 'food with integrity' philosophy here. After a lot of mingling and being girls, we sat down to view 'Nefarious: Merchant of Souls'. This is a hard-hitting documentary that exposes the disturbing trends in modern sex slavery. I can't watch this film without getting choked up. It leaves you feeling bothered, but unlike others that I've seen, there is a message of hope that only comes from freedom in Christ. It will send chills down your spine.

 I also featured products from Radiant Cosmetics where a portion of each purchase is donated to anti-trafficking efforts. Another organization featured was Stop Traffick Fashion who selects fashionable accessories from businesses that provide jobs to survivors of trafficking. And of course, I couldn't let the night go by without talking about the organization that is so close to my heart, Doma International. This group journeys with women that have been arrested for solicitation and have horrendous stories of abuse and trafficking. In my opinion, the night was a success. I can't wait to do it again. Next time I'll remember to get a picture! If anyone would like to make a donation or purchase, email me (christysamms@gmail.com) and I will send coupon codes! The shows close in one week.

 In what ways have you substituted a slave free product into your life?

Resigned

I'm about to embark on a new journey in life...one that I've always known that I wanted but never knew how exactly it would play out. I've resigned from my job and will be staying home full time with my kids.  I have one more day of work...one more day until I step away from what I once called my dream job.  One more day until I say goodbye to some of the most amazing people I know...the people that call me their counselor.  Those that allow me the privilege of journeying with them through the most difficult seasons of their lives.  I'm not sure I can stomach it...it's just so hard to say goodbye.  I've learned so much about myself, my career, and about God through this job.  I can't quite imagine my life without it.  Why am I leaving such a great situation?  God told me.  (I actually hate when people say that). How did he tell me?  Was I hearing voices?  Did I have a dream?  No, I asked him.  Then I waited for a few weeks...and stressed...and cried...and prayed...sought wise counsel...and then I had peace.  Yep...just like all of those other testimonies you hear in the church.  What does peace look like?  Well, it feels better, it is clear, it doesn't contradict scripture or Godly counsel, it is patient, you just know.  God told me to go home...and raise my babies.  He told me to go home and support my husband.  God told me to focus on ending sex trafficking.  He told me not to worry about losing a part of my identity for a time...that it would all be worth it when my babies look into my eyes and say "uv you too nonnie" or when my husband walks into the house and says "you are the best thing that ever happened to me".  This is truly one of the most difficult decisions that I've had to make...not because I don't want to stay home, but because I want BOTH!  I love what I do.  But...there is a little spark inside that keeps me going...knowing that God is doing something crazy again...I can feel it.   For now, a piece of each client will remain in my heart always...and someday it would be a such an amazing blessing  if our paths could cross again.

4 ways that you can end slavery

Want to end slavery?  Here's how:


1. Educate yourself-take a class, attend an upcoming Abolition U, read books like Everyday Justice, Half the Sky, A Crime So Monstrous, The Slave Across the Street, Amazing Grace, Not For Sale.

2. Donate!  Find an organization that is doing something that moves you.  Here's a few that I've been moved by:  As Our Own (this Christian group adopts children directly out of the brothels of India and raises them...as their own children...they pay for college, weddings, and the kids return for holidays...amazing picture of adoption).  Doma International (this Christian group journeys with survivors of sex trafficking in COLUMBUS OHIO).  I got to see this in person...amazing.

3. Refuse to participate. Yes, it is easy to participate in sex trafficking.  Stop looking at pornography, stop laughing at the pimp culture, respect women and children, change the way you view prostitution, buy as much as you can from fair trade organizations that refuse to pay anything less than what workers deserve and/or donate proceeds to anti trafficking efforts: Jewelry/Clothing:  Stop Traffick Fashio n, Makeup/Skincare:  Radiant Cosmetics, Coffee:  Just Love Coffee, Cards:  Sanctuary Spring.  A great resource to learn more is the book Everyday Justice by Julie Clawson.

4.Talk about it to everyone you know-Don't be annoying...but we have been unaware for too long!  What one generation ignores, the next embraces.  One way to rid of sex trafficking is to create a culture of awareness and intolerance of slavery.  It's happening in our comfortable suburbs...Don't be afraid...FIGHT!

So excited that my stomach hurts!

Thirty-three people were present at a class on Human Trafficking yesterday at our church.  I was begging God for at least TEN so that our speaker would feel encouraged.  WOW!!!  I am so excited that my stomach hurts!  I started my journey in the abolitionist movement (yes, HT is modern day slavery) last summer and have attempted to do a number of things that fell flat on the ground and just...well...failed!  I realized last night that perhaps all of those "failures" were God's way of saying..."just trust me, I know what I'm doing and it will happen in my time."  I've been getting calls all weekend asking for more information.  So many people want to do something about the problem of HT in our cities.  So, stay tuned.  Our next project is Serve Elyria which will include a project directed toward ending HT in our area.



If you're interested, check "other" and list "SOAP" in the box on the sign up sheet.  If you want to stay updated about what we're doing, reply to this post and I'll add you to my contact list.

What do you know about human trafficking?

Mothering

My 2 1/2 year old son Micah is one of the cutest, most charming, craziest kids you'll ever meet.  He is absolutely adorable.  He has a smile that will drop you to your knees.  I love him dearly.  He also experiences his emotions on two levels: zero or ONE HUNDRED.  There is no in-between.  I guess he's kinda like his momma...I can't lie. When I'm happy, I'm HAPPY.  When I'm sad, I'm SAD.  When I'm mad, I'm SUPER PISSED!  So, what is that feeling when you've given your child the worst things about yourself?  Sadness?  Regret?  Frustration?  Micah and I started butting heads when he was the ripe old age of 10 months old.  I believe that was when he decided to stop taking naps and instead scream for hours...HOURS.  Those were not fun days...and they seemed to last for eternity!  And, the counselor in me is already regretting the fact that we will probably butt heads until he is well into adulthood.  He's an awesome sleeper now, but anytime he doesn't get his way he stretches as long as he can stretch, tenses every muscle in his body and screams as long and as loud as he can.

This is no cute scream...this is a demonic, wretched scream from the pit of hell.  He just has an all out meltdown.  (This is usually followed by little 13 month old Hannah walking over to him, bending over and "yelling" in his face...).  This episode triggers my anger like none other.  I HATE tantrums.  And, I don't always show up the way that I want to.  Where does that little thing called "patience" come from?  How do you put aside all of the horribleness that is raging inside of you and respond calmly and lovingly to your adorable child?  It can only be a miracle...that's for sure.  I wish it didn't have to be so hard...but I guess it's for my good.  I pray that God will continue to redeem the brokenness that comes as a result of my showing up less than Christlike to my children...and that somehow soon they will see Jesus for who He is...the Perfect Parent.

ministry life, married life, my life

What is it about year 7?  Isn't 7 the perfect number?  When Dan and I were engaged, we did some premarital counseling with a pastor that told us that the first year of marriage was wonderful...it was 7 that was tough.  I thought...that's weird...you're weird...Little did I know that #7 would just be...WEIRD?!  (Here's a disclaimer:  Dan and I are NOT having marriage problems, we are not fighting, we are not getting divorced, no one has been unfaithful...and any other rumors that might get started are not true!)

A lot of things happened this year!  Our second child, beautiful Hannah Grace, was born.  I learned that being a mother does not always come naturally...it is actually quite UN-natural to be patient, kind, and selfless.  I learned that I used to be busy...now I'm just crazy and out of my mind.  I learned that romance these days is just...different.  In some ways it is better than ever...in other ways it is just different.

When I was a little girl, I dreamed of being married to a pastor. One could say that God was calling me at a young age to be married to, and support a pastor. Little did I know that it would lead me right back to the place where that dream started...my hometown. In many ways, I love it! In other ways, I don't love it as much. The truth is that I'm a pretty tough girl. I can have a pretty bad attitude. I don't let people mess with me. I'm not afraid of conflict. I struggle at times, though. In a large church, especially, it is quite easy to be misunderstood and to find yourself quite lonely. It seems that most people have an expectation for you...how you should dress, how you should interact with your husband...the pastor, how your kids should behave...and dress, who your friends should be, how available you are, how much money you should (and shouldn't) have...and the list goes on. One time a woman came up to me and commented on how my husband and I interacted during a church service and on what my outfit was like the prior Sunday. That's just crazy. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. I feel quite blessed to be living my life. I've always felt as if I was called into ministry, even before I met my husband. For the most part it has even been fun! But there is something about that year #7 that has been throwing me through the ringer.

From a counselor's perspective, it is pretty normal...I know that now. Around year 7, I think things just start to settle in. We've finished school, got the jobs, bought the house, had the kids, and now we are looking toward the future and it seems like the newness and adventure is looking mundane and old. Most people throw in the towel because that old and mundane feeling is scary. For me? There is still a twinge of adventure in it all...

I still feel lonely sometimes...and that is tough for an extrovert like me. But when times get tough, or mundane, I say to pull your little family into a huddle really close and remember how much we have to be thankful for. While we all know that God is still completing his work in us...in me...we can manage this loneliness...we can manage this weird year #7. Perhaps it is weird because because It's just the calm before the storm of radical change? I guess we will see. For now, I'm holding on and looking forward to what comes next. I will rely on the truth that God never forsakes me and that He's there even when it doesn't feel like it. I will work hard to step out of my loneliness and do the work that God continues to call me into. And I will bear the criticism and misunderstanding of being a ministry wife. I will push through this weird #7 because I adore my husband and family. I love my life, and any trial is just making us stronger.

Redirected

This journey into the world of anti-human trafficking sure has been bumpy!  I've been praying specifically to see God work and guide my steps.  All along I've had that excited/nervous feeling...and have been searching for peace.  This week we decided to postpone our Night of Hope event in April.  Things just weren't quite coming together the way I'd hoped.  And, this is such an important issue that it needs to be done right.  While I'm terribly disappointed in that...God continues to open doors...and all in all I have peace.  So, God isn't finished yet...He's still flipping my world upside down.  I'm not quite sure what all of it will look like.  For now, check out some news in the abolitionist world:

Men Against The Trafficking Of Others (MATOO)

Find out what sex trafficking REALLY looks like...Tonight at 9pm

Chronicles of a Pastors wife

Sometimes I wonder if pastors wives are some of the loneliest people in the church...Everyone thinks things of them but they usually don't fit into the box that they are imagined to be in. It's not clear to them exactly where they belong, and no matter what...they're always being watched. So are their kids...God help us...

Project Hope-TODAY

So much has happened in the last week and I haven't had time to write about it.  I'm headed to court today in Cleveland to observe Judge Angela Stokes' Project Hope court.  Again, this program is an intensive treatment program for those women who are arrested for solicitation and want to get out of that lifestyle.  I was able to have a conference call with Judge Stokes on Thursday.  She loves God, and she cares deeply for these women.  She is excited about what we can do to support this program.  I have to run...can't be late for the Judge.  Please pray that God will pave the way for this endeavor and bless our time today.