Saturday, May 10, 2014

on motherhood...

“As He passed by, He saw a man blind from birth.  And His disciples asked Him, Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he would be born blind?  Jesus answered , It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parents; but it was so that the works of God might be displayed in him…” (John 9:1-3)

I read this today and it blessed my heart.  It just reminded me of the privilege that it is to be a mother to my children…especially Micah because I get to witness God’s power through them.  

I became a mother in 2009 and it was the scariest, weirdest, most beautiful and difficult time of my life!  Yeah…that’s what motherhood does to you…it makes you crazy.  I try to remind my kids of that daily.  Motherhood has brought out the best and worst in me.  I never knew anger until I had children.  I never knew love…the kind that you feel deep down in the pit of your stomach…that aching kind of love where you know that a part of you would die forever if anything bad happened to your child.  Motherhood has taught me about patience, endurance, selflessness and I know God more intimately because I am a mother.  

The other day my family went out for pizza.  There was a lady sitting behind us who was eating alone and working on a laptop.  We had a good time…my kids are doing better in restaurants and I am doing better and planning ahead.  However, we are still a handful…we are loud and crazy…there is always at least 3 or 4 injuries accompanied by loud screaming and cries of what sounds like death.  But there are also giggles and crazy ramblings about potties and stickers, princesses and Thomas the Train.  As we were getting ready to leave, the woman that was sitting behind us approached me.  I got pretty nervous and was ready for a lecture about how I was a bad parent.  Instead she said that she travels all the time and she’s never seen a family who treated their children with such love and respect.  She said that it was a joy to watch us together.  I think she may have just been an angel from Heaven.  I’ve NEVER been complimented on my kids in public…not to mention a restaurant.  (Except for how adorable they are…duh!)  I was incredibly humbled…tears came to my eyes…and I felt incredibly honored.  

The thing that I’ve learned most from being a mom is what a pleasure it is to have children.  They bring immense joy to me…and I love being a part of their world.  We are weird…my carpet is gross…we talk about potties and we kiss a LOT!  We laugh a lot and scream a lot.  But, I’ve never known such joy.  I am a completely different person because God allowed me to have children.  They are a treasure and I hope they grow to know and understand that.  I wouldn’t trade any of the “problems” or difficulties that we’ve been through (not even the labor and deliveries)…it was all worth it…to be able to look into their eyes and try to understand who they are and what they’re feeling…it’s just priceless.  

Thank you God for making me a mother.  

Until the next time :-), 

Friday, May 2, 2014

It's all fun and games until your kid pees on their floor

Parenting little kids makes me crazy in ways that I never knew it would.  It is so fun…and monotonous.  It’s 10:30pm and I’ve just put my second load of laundry in the washer, deboned a chicken, and now I need to go find that man that I love and make sure we still recognize each other after such a crazy day.  The big things in my kids lives right now are eating “cocorn” and watching Gerbert at bedtime.  So after that…I put my my kids down, do Micah’s massage, and then pray with them.  I find myself reviewing our day and apologizing for all the ways that I screwed them up and try to come up with ways to do better tomorrow.  They look at me like…”Mom, I have no idea what you’re talking about…can you leave now so that I can sneak some toys into my bed?”  

I find myself apologizing more to them these days.  Don’t get me wrong…I know that I’m a good mom.  But, man do I screw up.  Yesterday I punished Hannah for being disrespectful.  She’s 3.  That girl has the biggest teenage girl attitude already!  I have NO idea where she gets it from!  ;)  I punished her because she’s been making this obnoxious grunting sound when I tell her to do something.  She also has been saying FiiiiiiiiiiiNE!  and Moooooooooooom!  She’s a smart girl…and she doesn’t miss a thing.  She can sing a song after hearing it once and she’s already becoming pretty emotionally healthy…”Micah stop!  You’re making me angry!”  (Insert “My mom is a counselor” brain damage here…)

I was talking with a friend tonight about parenting…and how this world is just too confusing.  (And then my kid peed on her floor).  When we were kids, we watched shows like Looney Tunes where dads hit their kids over the head with baseball bats for asking dumb questions at dinner, they also shoot their kids in the head with a pistol…yes it’s true.  Shows have words like “stupid” and “freakin” and OH MY GOODNESS WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!?!?!?!?  I worry about what their brains are absorbing with Elmo talking about how the earth is a billion years old and My Little Pony casting spells on people…  The feminists are bashing men and telling our little girls that boys are dumb and worthless and that they don’t want anything to do with them.  Then I look at my sweet, sensitive little boy who just wants to be a helper and love his mom and sister with all of his heart…Then there’s the story in the news where hundreds of girls were abducted in Africa from their school and sold as brides to terrorists…and a chill runs down my spine.  

In a world of crazy…what in the heck do we do?!  According to Blues Clues…I should STOP, BREATHE, and THINK.  :)  Good advice.  According to God, I am being conformed to the image of Jesus…I trust him, I ask for wisdom, discernment, and protection.  I remember that God loves my kids more than me…that he has entrusted them to me for a reason…and that he is always doing something new.  I’m excited for this adventure.  

and oh yeah…I’m the one that grunts when I’m frustrated…so I’m the one that taught my daughter to be disrespectful to me!  Try explaining that to a 3 year old.  

These are the things that go through my head during the days while I’m running around like a crazy headless chicken.  

Now it’s 7am and my kids are wide awake asking to watch Coo Coo’s (Blue’s Clues).  I’M UP and darn it…I’m drinking my coffee from my fancy china mug this morning.  

Until the next time :-), C