Sunday, June 23, 2013

We'll get there

Yesterday was the first time I felt judged by someone because of my son's difficulties.  Micah is going through a difficult time right now...I'm not exactly sure what the issue is...but he is struggling.  I'm thinking that he is just learning so many new things and becoming aware of so many new things that he is just more overwhelmed than ever...and overwhelmed=tantrums about every 10 minutes or so.  I know that we just have to push through I've started to say "we'll get there".  Last night we went out to eat (which we NEVER do except for the fact that we are on vacation (I will write about that later) and have a dining plan).  Restaurants are particularly overwhelming because of all that is going on, the people, and the noise.  So, naturally, he just had a huge meltdown.  Our server was absolutely amazing and took our kids' orders and had their food and drinks to our table in less than 5 minutes.  (That raised her tip about 100%).  While it was all happening, I heard two tables near us talking about parenting and how to punish children.  Dan took Micah outside to try to calm him down as well as to minimize the inconvenience for the other people.  A couple approached as they were to be seated and replied "can we please sit somewhere else?".  No, they weren't they weren't unreasonable...but it broke my heart :(.  I literally bit my lip because I was about to burst into tears.  I'm pretty direct...I don't mind speaking my mind (as many of you know...) but for some reason this time was different.  Next to me was my 2 year old crazy girl who was jumping on the seat and belting out her super cute version of the B-I-B-L-E.  (We have started calling her our little evangelist).  So she brought me out of my own little meltdown.

As I continue to learn about him and watch him in his everyday life, the more I feel like I love him.  He is so incredibly unique...and in some ways I felt sorry for the people who couldn't sit next to us...they were missing out big time.  When you look at Micah most of the time you wouldn't know that anything was challenging for him.  But, the more you know him the more you can see.  I'm realizing that one of my difficulties is when people tell me "he's fine!".  It hurts a little...because it tells me that they don't see him.  He isn't fine.  He is exactly who God created him to be...but he does struggle and to truly know and love him, one must understand his struggles.  But this time people noticed him...they probably thought he was just a "normal" kid with bad parents or perhaps just a "normal" kid having a "normal tantrum".  Anyway, the incident changed me a bit.  Perhaps it will make me stronger...I will always be his advocate and I will never be ashamed of him.  Maybe God will use this to help me for the next time...

Until the next time :)