just some ramblings...

Tomorrow I am taking Micah to see a pediatric doctor of orthotics.  Perhaps there is a fancier name...but that's all the fancy I can handle for now.  He is going to be assessed for some leg/foot braces.  I'm actually a little bit excited. I feel like we are doing some things that can really help him after a year of wondering, watching, and experimenting.  Please pray for him to have a successful appointment and that we get what we need.

I've also just completed the process/paperwork for a few different funding sources to help us with Micah's medical bills.  I have no idea how everything will turn out...but would you please pray that they will be successful?  I don't have much energy or brain power these days to do much...but I did it!

We had an IEP meeting with Micah's team at preschool last week.  Can I just say once more how much I love them?  They are amazing...I will never be able to say enough for how much they've helped us and cared for my son.  Anyway, one of the things that kept coming up was Micah's inconsistent progress.  He's making a tiny little bit of progress...but it tends to be great one day and non existent on the next day.  For some reason, in those meetings, I tend to think of Micah from a clinical viewpoint.   But, this particular day we all kinda realized that Micah just has really good days where he can jump on a trampoline and jibber jabber a mile a minute.  Then he has days where he just falls out of his chair for no reason.  It's baffling...it's sad...it's frustrating.  But we all talked about how hard it must be for him to know that sometimes he can jump and other times he just can't make it happen.  It breaks my heart to think of what he must feel sometimes.  I put myself in his shoes and realized how much strength he has.  I really don't give him enough credit.  Other times I think that I'm just being too emotional.

  I came across this little narrative yesterday on facebook:

I read this and my first thought was..."that's so cool...I can't imagine how that must feel...I want to salute my friends who have a child with special needs..."  Then I shared it...not even thinking twice.  Then I read it again...

That's totally me...(not that I'm asking for you to salute me).  I'm one of the moms that has been waiting for Micah to run without falling...to tell me what he wants...to tell me who he is and what he feels.  I've wanted so badly to have playdates...but they tend to end in tantrums.  We have so many bad days...and some good ones.  And yes...my child's best friends are Ms Mindy, Ms Holly, Ms Sandy, Ms Jan, and Ms Linda...he doesn't really name anyone else when we ask him.  I'm the mom that cries at conferences and doctor's offices...I'm the one that feels a knife in her heart when a 2 year old punk asks me what's wrong with my 4 year old (actually he was a sweet little boy that was just curious as to why Micah kept falling).  For some reason "special needs mom" still just doesn't resonate right away. I'm still learning to accept...man that's just hard sometimes.  

God must love me a lot to give me this dude:

And lets not forget my Hannah...my sanity...my little snug-a-bug who requires everyone to take a turn singing at the dinner table and who is never void of laughs:

Until the next time :-), C