My life...

I know I say this every time...but WOW it's been a while since I've written anything here...I guess I kinda have my hands full.  Both kids are napping and I thought I'd sneak in quick blog post.  Today I was watching home videos of Micah (my almost 2 year old son) from when he was a baby.  My heart just broke a little as I realized how fast time has gone.  It also made me realize how my life has changed...and how challenging the last 2 years have been.  I can say with confidence that I am quite different than I used to be. Wow, do I love my kids.  Wow, do kids stretch you.  My temper isn't as short, I have a bit more patience.  I could be a breastfeeding expert given all of the trouble I've had with it.  I know how to make baby food.  Poop and vomit don't scare me.  I can function without sleep.  I'm content with my post-baby body.  I am no longer terrified of contractions...and I've pretty much had a natural birth.  I want to go to bed at 9 every night...and those kids who want to stay up until 11...well they are just too wild for me (wink, wink).  I'm a real grown up.  I used to feel guilty about staying in the house on a beautiful day...or staying in one room for the entire day doing nothing.  Now, that is my norm.  And I'm getting quite the workout.  There were times that I thought that I would never make it until my kids are 18...and I'm sure those feelings will return at times.  But, for the first time...I really feel like I can do it.  I'm usually quite the pessimist...but today I'm finding all kinds of positive things to say about my babies.

Micah, I love the way you speak in paragraphs...and no one has any idea what you are saying.  I love to hear you laugh.  I love it when you hug me...and pat me on the back with your little hand.  I love to see you dance.  I love it when my kisses make your boo boo's feel better.  You are my baby boy...and my stomach hurts when I think of how much I really love you.

Hannah, you are my sweet girl.  I couldn't imagine sharing my love with another baby...but you showed that I didn't have to.  I got to create new love for you.  You are so much different and much the same as your brother.  I love to hear you "talk".  I love how passionate and strong you already are (mommy's girl).  Your smile could make anyone have a better day.  I love to watch you watch your brother.  You already love him and I can sense the bond that the two of you will have as you grow up.  I love nursing you and having that time with just the two of us. I kinda wish you'd let me sleep more...but since I have to be up...I'm glad that its because I get to be with you.

Thanks, God for the gift of being a crazy mom to the most beautiful gifts in the world.

If Mamma Aint Happy...

So, yesterday I had a really good day.  My house was clean (this always helps), I got to spend time with some friends, I was well rested (thanks to my 1 year old), and I got some things accomplished.  When my husband got home, he was in a good mood as was my little one (he LOVES his daddy).  It was just a really good day.  My husband made the comment “I’m in a really good mood…I think my mood is derived from your mood…”  It’s funny, because I think I’ve noticed the same thing.  I was journaling this morning and it hit me…WOW!  What a responsibility. 

If you are a faithful reader of the finer days…you’ll know that I’ve struggled a bit lately with finding the joy in my new stage of life.  (God is doing some amazing work there).  So, needless to say, my mood isn’t always the greatest.  Especially at the end of the day when I’m tired, baby is fussy, and daddy comes home and all I want to do is leave everything and go take a nap!  But, it hit me this morning that I bear the incredible responsibility of setting the tone for my family.  Think about it…when you were little…if mom was upset, did you just go along playing and feeling calm and happy?  Probably not.  I know I didn’t.  If mom was unhappy, I was worried and unhappy as well.  Don’t get me wrong, my mom did a great job at setting the tone as best she could given all that she had to deal with.  You’ve probably heard the saying “If mamma aint happy, aint nobody happy”.  Yeah…it is probably true. 

So, here’s my new challenge.  In no way am I called to be fake and put on a smile when I’m hurting.  Perhaps I am called to set aside my stuff so that I can set a positive tone for my husband and children.  Setting aside does not equal ignoring…but not allowing it to dictate my attitude.  I heard a book review of “Men are Like Waffles, Women are Like Spaghetti” where they talked about how men have the ability to compartmentalize (waffle) whereas women allow things to hit them like a giant meatball landing in a bowl of spaghetti…it affects every noodle of her life.  Perhaps on this one we need to take some advice from our men? 

I was at work a while back and someone made the comment “You are always so happy and cheerful”.  I think they compared me to sunshine.  I was like “Who in the world are you talking about?”  Funny…my husband had the same reaction.  Why am I saving my optimism and joy for my coworkers and clients?  Doesn’t my family deserve it even more? 

Do you find the same thing in your home?  How do you maintain a positive attitude for your family?