Are we marketing to the damaged?

The other day, I was in the shower...where I do my best thinking.  I was very excited to try my new shampoo/conditioner set that I recently purchased because I love having pretty smelling hair and because my recently highlighted hair has become quite damaged and I needed a remedy.  I had a thought...I've always had pretty healthy hair.  So healthy, and oily, that I could never find the right shampoo/conditioner to maintain the health.  Everything always either dried it out or made it more oily.  It was seriously frustrating.  My thought was...why does the hair care industry only market to the damaged?  They have so many fun products to use once you've highlighted/colored/permed and otherwise damaged your hair.  But, when your hair is healthy they leave you high and dry (or oily).  It got me thinking to other areas of our culture that perhaps do the same thing.  Any thoughts?  What about the church?  Do you ever feel encouraged to stay damaged in order to have a place in your circle for fear that health will actually ostracize you?  Just wondering...

Don't worry, He can handle me

So, hopefully you noticed that my blog got a makeover.  If you didn’t…perhaps you’ve had a week like me and you need a night out.  (Call me and we’ll get together).  Anyway, I will probably change my blog’s looks like I rearrange rooms in my house…often.  Ask my old college roommate…the room changed often and usually in the wee hours of the morning when I was supposed to be writing a paper…I often talked her into cutting my hair too but that’s a completely different story…LOL!  So, HI!  I know it’s been a while.  I’ve got a few ideas for blog posts but never the energy/motivation/time away from little fingers wanting to touch the keyboard to do it.  One of these days I’ll get around to it.  To catch you up on the life of Christy, I am currently 2 ½ weeks away from popping out my second baby…it’s a girl…and I couldn’t be more excited…and terrified.  Your prayers are greatly appreciated.  I also just completed the last big step in securing my career (just in time for my second maternity leave), I passed my state board exam.  These are good times...and...

Yesterday was a tough day…I had a few choice words with God about it.  Don’t worry, He can handle me.  The truth is that I am truly a blessed woman.  I have pretty much everything a gal could want…but I struggle with one thing…well I struggle with a lot of things, but this one particular thing makes me feel completely stuck.  My choice words to God were…um…what am I supposed to be learning in this?!  Didn’t you say that you’d give me a way out?  It really doesn’t seem like there is a way out of this one.  (Side note…Did you guys hear Pastor Jim’s sermon last week?  He talked about prayer…I don’t remember the specific titles he used but he talked about selfish prayers and I think it shook all of us up…cuz we all pray those).  Why am I telling you this?  Well, I had this moment where I was like…I’m angry and frustrated and I really wanted to just say it all to God…but it won't sound pretty or respectful.  I didn't want to blame God, I wasn’t questioning who He is, or challenging His will…I was just being real…right?  Doesn’t God already know what is in my heart?  Could it be that He is glorified all the more when I speak it to Him trusting that He can handle me? So...I did. I gave it to him.  If I would've been alone I probably would've yelled.  Instead, I just shredded my journal with my pen.  I gave it to Him...raw, yucky, and true.  

I didn’t have any earth-shattering revelations from God after my time of “spewage”…that wasn’t what I was expecting really.  It was cleansing.  I felt like I was able to empty all of the crap that I was carrying…but I didn’t have to do it in a King James Version-type speech to God. In the end, I was left with this… “my grace is sufficient for you, my strength is made perfect in your weakness.”  (2 Cor. 12:9)  Yeah, I really didn’t want to hear that…I already know it.  But, it is true.  And, regardless of what I feel in the moment I have to once again remember that He is greater than I am…and I’d rather struggle and know the truth than to struggle lost and alone. 

I’m currently having the urge to re-paint my living room…

He's making something new...again

The smell of Desitin fills my brain as I think back on my day of horrible diaper rash, a day of horrible, painful screams, and a recovering ear infection of my little man, Micah.  It started at 5:30am, and we didn’t make it to church.  I was dressed and almost ready, then just dropped everything and decided to stay home at watch Pearl Harbor…sacrilegious?  Irreverent?  Perhaps…I don’t know.  I just know that I didn’t have the energy to get it all together and show up (very late…I might add after realizing all that I still had to do to get there).  To add to it, I’m feeling more and more like a crippled old woman…being almost 8 months pregnant and sore all over!  (Don’t worry, the point of this post is not to whine and complain…I’m getting somewhere).  So I’ve had some time to reflect after baby was put to bed (quite easily…thank you Lord) and Daniel was back at the church.  The thing that popped into mind was on Thanksgiving day, after I completed and ate my first complete Thanksgiving dinner and was feeling quite sore.  Micah was attempting to nap…but it wasn’t going well.  I went to his room to practice the “Sleep Lady Shuffle” (I will talk about this in a future post…great book about sleep issues and children) and sat in my rocking chair to calm him and wait for him to go back to sleep.  While rocking…the most amazing contentment and calm rushed over me.  (I don’t EVER feel that way when I’m trying to help Micah sleep…normally it is straight ANXIETY and feelings of failure).  All of a sudden, all I wanted to do was just to be there…watching my son sleep and the sudden urge came to pray for a few specific needs of people in my life.  The point is, that God showed up…there in that dark room filled with lullabies and the sound of rain…though I’ve been struggling with Him and trying to find my place in this new phase of my life called motherhood…He came.  I knew He would…wasn’t sure when.  So tonight, it occurred to me that He is making something new in me…again.  Just when I felt that I had things under control, my world was flipped…as it turns out, He’s still working on me.